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Emotions are part and parcel of our lives. We have emotions that motivate us and also those that demotivate us. Emotions determine our behavior and personality. Emotions even decide our inner states of being. Our inner states are the ones of peace and tranquility. Also, there exists a contrary inner state of tension and turmoil. Peace and tranquility are conducive to our well being and growth. Stress and unrest are hazardous to our health and relationships. Our productivity and happiness are a function of the state we choose to be in. We can determine our emotions, and inner states provided we take responsibility for them.
Let us look at anger. Anger is an emotion that completely paralyzes us. We get into a situation where our thought process and actions come to a complete standstill. Very few of us have contemplated the kind of effect it has on us. At home anger results in a complete mess and disharmony. In an office, it results in immobilizing our creative and decision-making capabilities. Anger is nothing but a temporary state of insanity.
All emotions are ultimately a dissipation of our own energy. Energy can flow out, or it can be utilized within. Creative energy is internal utilization. Anger is wastage of our energy, a futile discharge. However, this can be prevented through awareness. We have to first understand that anger is ours. It does not belong to someone else. Our natural argument is that the outside object or person makes us angry. Please understand that it is not the right argument. Anger is our emotion. It can also be our choice to not react angrily.
Also, we need to know that everyone makes choices which they think are best for them. We have no control over their choices. We become angry because they do not take the choice we wish them to take. So the only way out is to arrive at a consensus or a complete acceptance of the situation. Anger will only further worsen the situation. So, the fact is nobody can make us angry. It is an emotion that is completely ours. And since it is ours we alone have the choice to do something about it.
Sometimes we do not accept this, and we must then know that we are completely controlled by outside forces. For some of us, it is a control drama, we use anger to either get away from a situation or to manipulate it. But be aware that everyone knows this trigger, and it can be used to manipulate us also.
All negative emotions seek approval, and so does anger. We get angry because certain expectation has not been met; when this happens we setoff a fight or a flight option. Anger is an option of a fight. But there is a difference. Anger results in a complete loss of control on the situation. Just recollect your colleague or someone dear choosing to throw tantrums. In my opinion, it seems very stupid for someone to behave in such an immature way when the matter can be resolved amicably. But somewhere there in an internal trigger that automatically erupts into an emotion of anger. Anger results in a state, which is stressful for everyone. It results in a whole lot of psychosomatic disorders.
Anger should not be controlled. When we control anger, it is suppressed. Every suppressed emotion some time or the other will come out in a terrible form. The only solution is awareness. We have to be aware of what anger is doing to us. It starts with becoming aware that we are now angry. This is difficult because the moment we get angry we lose awareness. However, it does not matter. After we have released our energy of anger, we need to be with its residue inside us. Just to become aware of what the emotion does to us. Be complete with it. Somehow whenever we are complete with this emotion, it stops its reoccurrence. This energy transmutes to something positive and creative. Thus anger gets channeled into some positive form. Then the next time this trigger of anger is bypassed into something creative. There exists a realization within that it is ultimately we who will suffer in the end.
We do not have to be a ‘yogi’ to give up anger. We just have to understand that anger does no good. It has done no good for anyone. Even a bully displaying false anger is no credibility ultimately. Nobody wants to be in the company of people who lack harmony. There exists too much disharmony everywhere. So the preference always is to stay away from it.
So become aware of this emotion. Become aware that we get angry every time we expect something from others. We need to take responsibility and become mature. We need to experience the anger within us. It will then transform into something beautiful. This will only add to our personality and health.