The path to the ‘awakening’ starts with the quest of “Who am I?” It is indeed an interesting question. It started hounding me a while ago, and from there I started my spiritual journey. Believe me, this question remains unanswered for a long time because we keep seeking various techniques. Ultimately we start getting close to the answer, only to then discover we are yet so far. Today I realize this is an unending quest but an interesting one though. Once you get on to this path, it is then a pursuit of knowledge, which will be never-ending. You will gain knowledge of the deepest mysteries.
‘Who am I?’ seems to be the question, which plagues all those who take some time out for themselves. I am today certain that this is the question that plagues all including the ‘Almighty.’ Surprising and unbelievable as it may seem but this is the conclusion I arrived at, after doing a lot of research on this subject. It is not a coincidence that every partially awakened one knows that he is beyond the human form. He is something else. This is what leads to the pursuit of ‘who am I?’ Suddenly this question takes a different turn. It becomes ‘what is this existence all about?’ Because unless you understand this, there is no answer to ‘who am I.’ Therefore let us dwell on this question of ‘what is this existence all about?’
I searched through a lot of data on how this creation came into existence. How, is a scientific pursuit. It is an intellectual pursuit. I came to the conclusion that all theories start with some hypotheses. This hypothesis remains unanswered, always. However, the hypothesis gives a logical path to arrive at a conclusion to the way the world is today. But my quest is the hypothesis itself, the beginning, and the ‘beyond.’ Somehow this beyond is not understood by any rationale. This beyond is beyond rationale. That is why we have to be driven to the end of the intellect to the end of a rationale to embrace the irrational. To me, the ‘irrational’ answers all the questions of the ‘beyond.’ It also brings me to the end of the quest of knowing ‘who am I?’ When you take this path you must question everything. Do not take anything at face value. Only then you will transcend the rationale, the intellect. You will then enter the realms of higher planes, the intuitive planes. You have to enter the mystical zones. Only there all these answers can be found.
So if you want to understand this creation, become absolutely irrational and discover that there is always something, which is unanswered by the rationale and the intellect. Then start the pursuit, which is spiritual. Spirituality starts with ‘what is.’ How, is scientific. ‘What made things happen?’ will answer questions, rather than ‘how did it happen?’
To me, it is obvious now that we are nothing inside. We are absolutely hollow. This nothingness gives a divine feeling. This hollow makes me open to fill myself up with anything of my choice. I can fill it up with my ego or be a bottomless valley. Meditation makes you a bottomless valley. Meditation takes you deep into nothingness. That is a great experience because you cease to exist. You are one with the Universe then, one with the creation. Thus I am tempted to say everything is nothing. It begins with nothing. It ends with nothing. We then fill it up with everything that is evolution. After we fill it up, we become restless and then start turning inwards to understand who we are. It is proved that our body is matter and all matter is energy. Energy is infinite. It is everything and nothing. It is absolutely intangible in the purest form.
Thus if nothingness is the reality; nothingness also gives you a feeling of the infinite. Nothingness is a dark vacuum, the infinite. Thus this infinite nothingness we will call the pure unconscious. This unconscious somewhere became conscious and became finite consciousness. It had to become conscious because the infinite unconscious wanted to know itself. There is no reason for this. We just want to know ourselves for some reason. We just want to know and there is no reason for it. I repeat, thus this unconscious became conscious to know itself. To know oneself is a desire. Desire gives us the experience to understand what we wish to know and to poses. Thus the beginning of all actions is a desire. We all know it. This desire then had to create the right environment to gain these experiences. These experiences were then to contribute to the ‘pure consciousness’ in the quest to know itself so that the unconscious would then know itself. This pure consciousness is the conscious infinite, the divinity, and the God in the conscious form. This is the infinite conscious form of the infinite unconscious. It is not only logical but also spiritual. This created the world; the environment to gain experience. After the experience is gained then start the quest to know oneself.
Buddha was an old soul. Many masters are old souls. These souls are rich with experience, and then they turn inwards to discover who and what. Thus the entire creation, the existence is a part of the whole, the infinite. Our nothingness is everything, and thus we are the infinite. The day this realization comes we are awakened. The homeward journey ends with this knowledge that we are everything, the infinite consciousness which is nothingness, the infinite unconsciousness. With this, you gain knowledge of the chain of this entire creation. All the other questions then become trivial once you know the cause and the effect chain.